So, I Sit At The Hotel At

Xylophone Is Spelled With An X. That's Wrong. It Should Be A Z Up Front. Next Time You Spell Xylophone, Use A Z. If Someone Says, "that's Wrong!", You Say, "no, It Ain't." If You Think That's Wrong, Then You Need To Have Your Head Z-rayed.

I Was Booked Into The Riviera Hotel In Las Vegas With Three Other Comedians. We All Were Using The Riviera In-house Shampoo, So We All Had Equal Shine And Bounce.

I Have Some Speakers Up Here, Thank God, Because Last Night I Didn't Have Them And I Was Telling Jokes And I Had No Idea Which Joke I Was Telling. So I Told Jokes Twice. I Even Told That One Twice.

If You Have To Release Bad News To The Public, It Would Help If You Are Not Ugly.

Mr. Pibb Is A Poor Imitation Of Dr. Pepper. Dude Didn't Even Get His Degree.