When You Put Listerine In Your Mouth,

That Would Be Cool If The Earth's Crust Was Made Out Of Graham Cracker. It Would Disappear Just Like The Ozone Layer, But For Completely Different Reasons.

I Hate Sandwiches At New York Delis. Too Much Meat On The Sandwich. It's Like A Cow With A Cracker On Either Side. "would You Like Anything Else With The Pastrami Sandwich?" "yeah, A Loaf Of Bread And Some Other People!"

You Got To Always Take Advantage Of Getting Your Room Cleaned. You May Think It's Nice Not To Have Anybody In Your Room, Like Your Privacy's Not Being Invaded. But There's Nothing Like Walking Back Into A Clean Room. You've Got To Remember That.

If You Drink O'douls, You Don't Drink; But If You Drink 20 O'douls In A Half Hour, Then You're A Non-alcoholic.

I Don't Know How To Fix A Car. If The Car Breaks Down, And The Gas Tank Does Not Say "e", I'm Screwed. But If The Gas Tank Says "e", I Get All Cocky - "i've Got This One, Don't Worry." So I Get Out The Toolbox Aka Wallet.