I Went To A Tent Store. "what

I Had A Paper Route When I Was A Kid. I Was Supposed To Go To 2,000 Houses. Or Two Dumpsters.

I Don't Wear A Watch Because I Want My Arms To Weigh The Same. So If Somebody Asks Me What Time It Is, I Have To Tell Them Something That Is Going On. "what Time Is It, Mitch?" "uh, That Guy Is Eating A Hamburger." "shi*, I Had To Be Somewhere..."

Sometimes I Fall Asleep At Night With My Clothes On. I'm Going To Have All My Clothes Made Out Of Blankets.

Why Is Cloud 9 So Amazing? What Is Wrong With Cloud 8? That Joke Came Off The Top Of My Head, And The Top Of My Head Ain't Funny!

When You Start Out In Comedy, Or Probably In A Lot Of Things, You Want It To Happen Fast. You Don't Want To See Yourself Having To Do This For Seven Years Before You Start To Get Some Feedback.