Sleep! The Most Beautiful Experience In Life.

When Asked To Borrow Money: "i'll See What My Lawyer Says. . . . And If He Says Yes, I'll Get Another Lawyer.

I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot, As Long As It's Around The Woman's Neck

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

The Two-headed Boy In The Circus Never Had Such A Headache.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.