Variant: I Was Driven To Drink By

Bert Williams Was The Funniest Man I Ever Saw And The Saddest Man I Ever Knew.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

Somebody's Been Putting Pineapple Juice In My Pineapple Juice!

I Exercise Strong Self Control. I Never Drink Anything Stronger Than Gin Before Breakfast.

If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's Worth Cheating For.