She's So Fat, She's My Two Best

Your Proudest Moment Is To Watch Your Egg Not Just Function, But To Achieve On Her Own.

I Like My Politicians And My Judges And My Lawyers To Be Simple. I Think If You Worry About Where Your Hemline Is You're Really Not Concentrating On The World Crisis.

The Last Time I Saw A Blonde With Red Streaks In Her Hair She Was Laying On Oscar Pistorius' Bathroom Floor.

"i Wouldn't Go Over Here To Lisa Rinna And I Would Say 'are Those Breasts Real, Are You Wearing Underwear?'"

Last Night I Asked My Husband, 'what's Your Favorite Sexual Position?' And He Said, 'next Door.'