List of Joseph Heller Quotes

When People Disagreed With Him He Urged Them To Be Objective.

He Was Sick With Lust And Mesmerized With Regret

To Yossarian, The Idea Of Pennants As Prizes Was Absurd. No Money Went With Them, No Class Privileges. Like Olympic Medals And Tennis Trophies, All They Signified Was That The Owner Had Done Something Of No Benefit To Anyone More Capably Than Everyone Else.

Yossarian Decided To Change The Subject. "now You're Changing The Subject." He Pointed Out Diplomatically. "i'll Bet I Can Name Two Things To Be Miserable About For Every One You Can Name To Be Thankful For.

There Are Yawning Gulfs Into Which Large Chunks Of Me Have Fallen. I Do Not Always Know Where I Am At Present.

If A Man Is Going To Leave One Wife To Marry Another, It's Better If He Divorces The First Before He Marries The Second.

History Did Not Demand Yossarian's Premature Demise, Justice Could Be Satisfied Without It, Progress Did Not Hinge Upon It, Victory Did Not Depend On It. That Men Would Die Was A Matter Of Necessity; Which Men Would Die, Though, Was A Matter Of Circumstance, And Yossarian Was Willing To Be The Victim Of Anything But Circumstance. But That Was War. Just About All He Could Find In Its Favor Was That It Paid Well And Liberated Children From The Pernicious Influence Of Their Parents.

Why Are They Going To Disappear Him?' I Don't Know.' It Doesn't Make Sense. It Isn't Even Good Grammar.

Only Hungry Joe Had Something Better To Do Each Time He Finished His Missions. He Had Screaming Nightmares And Won Fist Fights With Huple's Cat.

Someone Had To Do Something Sometime. Every Victim Was A Culprit, Every Culprit A Victim, And Somebody Had To Stand Up Sometime To Try To Break The Lousy Chain Of Inherited Habit That Was Imperiling Them All.

He Was Never Without Misery, And Never Without Hope.

"what Would They Do To Me," He Asked In Confidential Tones, "if I Refused To Fly Them?" "we'd Probably Shoot You," Ex-p.f.c. Wintergreen Replied. "we?" Yossarian Cried In Surprise. "what Do You Mean, We? Since When Are You On Their Side?" "if You're Going To Be Shot, Whose Side Do You Expect Me To Be On?" Ex-p.f.c. Wintergreen Retorted.