Bo Derek Turned Down The Role Of

Mick Jagger Could French-kiss A Moose. He Has Child-bearing Lips.

The Last Time I Appeared In Las Vegas, They Were Wearing Hoop Skirts And Davy Crockett Hats, ... But They Say 'what Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas.' And As Far As Fashion Is Concerned, That's A Good Thing.

Now, I'm Not Against Sex Before Marriage, But Two Minutes Before? When The Organist Played "here Comes The Bride".

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.