My Wife Wants Sex In The Back

I Bought A Perfect Second Car... A Tow Truck.

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

Don't Talk About Yourself So Much...we'll Do That When You Leave.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.