Say Anything That You Like About Me

Wouldn't It Be Terrible If I Quoted Some Reliable Statistics Which Prove That More People Are Driven Insane Through Religious Hysteria Than By Drinking Alcohol.

There's No Such Thing As A Tough Child - If You Parboil Them First For Seven Hours, They Always Come Out Tender.

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.

Indeed, Moderation Is My Middle Name (though I Do Not Often Use It In Signing Legal Documents)