Trust Everybody, But Cut The Cards Yourself.

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

Everybody's Got To Believe In Something. I Believe I'll Have Another Beer.

Never Try To Impress A Woman, Because If You Do She'll Expect You To Keep Up The Standard For The Rest Of Your Life.

I'd Take A Bromo, But I Can't Stand The Noise.