Bert Williams Was The Funniest Man I

There Are Only Two Real Ways To Get Ahead Today - Sell Liquor Or Drink It.

A Rich Man Is Nothing But A Poor Man With Money.

Christmas At My House Is Always At Least Six Or Seven Times More Pleasant Than Anywhere Else. We Start Drinking Early. And While Everyone Else Is Seeing Only One Santa Claus, We'll Be Seeing Six Or Seven.

When We Have Lost Everything, Including Hope, Life Becomes A Disgrace, And Death A Duty.

If I Ever Found A Church That Didn't Believe In Knocking All The Other Churches, I Might Consider Joining It.