Remember, Folks, I Am A Comedian, Not

I'm Always Listening And Watching; My Ear Is Like A Boom Mike. And Judging, Frankly. Constantly Judging.

I'm Also Doing A Special For Comedy Central Called Autobiography. It's Going To Be A Spoof Of Biography.

I Actually Have To Pick And Chose Stuff That I Know I'm Going To Bomb At.

I Have A No-apology Policy. No Apologies For Jokes. I Apologize In My Real Life All The Time. I Say Ridiculous Things, I Make Mistakes Constantly. But When I'm On Stage, I'm At A Microphone It's A Joke!

Life Is Adventure. Travel Is Adventure At A Different Address.