If You See Me On Friday, You'll

Pretty Much Everywhere I Go, I'm Pretty Much Thinking I'm Going To Be Bounced. I Am Still The Outsider Who Snuck Into The Party. I Identify With The Regular Person, Because That Is Who I Am.

A Lot Of Celebrities, Especially When You're Talking About The Really Big Ones, Live In What I Call The Fame Bubble. Nobody Ever Says No To Them Or Challenges Them Or Even Teases Them.

When I'm Going To See A Comedian, I Don't Want To See Them Hold Back, And When I'm Reading A Book, I Don't Want To Hear An Abridged Version.

Gwyneth Paltrow Names Her Kid Apple. I'm Not Going To Let That Stand.

I'm On Every Worst-dressed List Imaginable.