If You See Me On Friday, You'll

Remember, Folks, I Am A Comedian, Not A Journalist.

I Certainly Immerse Myself In As Many Crazy Hollywood Events As I Can Because You Never Know Where You Can Pick Up Material.

Do You Remember A Little Phenom Called Step Aerobics? If You Do, Then You Know How Crazy It Was To Take Two Ninety-minute Classes In A Row. It’s Incredible That I Didn’t Die From A Blunt Injury To The Back Of My Head From Slipping On My Own Pool Of Sweat.

I Identify With The Regular Person, Because That Is Who I Am.

When My Pals In High School Were Starting To Drink, It Always Looked Unappealing To Me. I Would Be At A Big Party And See One Of The Popular Girls Or Football Players Completely Wasted And Puking And Acting A Fool, And Think To Myself, There Is Nothing Cool About That. I Never Wanted To Be That Out Of Control.