Quit Worrying About Your Health. It'll Go

It May Be The Way The Cookie Crumbles On Madison Avenue, But In Hong Kong Its The Way The Egg Rolls.

A Toast To The Weapons Of War, May They Rust In Peace.

I Had A Terrible Fight With My Wife On New Year's Eve. She Called Me A Procrastinator. So I Finished Addressing The Christmas Cards And Left.

Inflation Is Bringing Us True Democracy. For The First Time In History, Luxuries And Necessities Are Selling At The Same Price.

The Next Time You Feel Like Complaining, Remember That Your Garbage Disposal Probably Eats Better Than 30 Percent Of The People In The World