A Toast To The Weapons Of War,

A Vacation Is Having Nothing To Do And All Day To Do It In.

Older People Shouldn't Eat Health Food, They Need All The Preservatives They Can Get.

A Sigh Is An Amplifier For People Who Suffer In Silence.

In Prehistoric Times, Mankind Often Had Only Two Choices In Crisis Situations: Fight Or Flee. In Modern Times, Humor Offers Us A Third Alternative; Fight, Flee - Or Laugh.

It's Amazing How Important Your Job Is When You Want The Day Off - And How Unimportant It Is When You Want A Raise.