Peter Mandelson Is The Only Man I

Kind 'guardian' Readers Have Been Forwarding Me Round Robin Christmas Newsletters For Years Now: Lengthy Missives Full Of Perfect Children, Exotic Holidays, Talented Pets And Endless, Tedious Detail. The Notes That Accompanied Them Revealed They Had Inspired In The Original Recipients Everything From Mild Irritation To Absolute Rage.

A British Lawyer Would Like To Think Of Himself As Part Of That Mysterious Entity Called The Law; An American Lawyer Would Like A Swimming Pool And Two Houses.

When I Was Collecting Material For A Political Gossip Column, And Someone Said Something Interesting, I Would Wait For Them To Add, "and I Don't Want To Read That In Your Magazine!" In Which Case I Wouldn't Use It. But If They Didn't Remember To Say It, I'd Nip Off To The Loo, Write The Story Up, Come Back And Change The Subject.

I Also Learned To Play Fruit Ninja On An Ipad. It Is Quite Hypnotic, And I Hope One Day To Get Past 100 Points. I Remembered That David Cameron Admits To Being An Addict. I Wonder If It Helps Him In His Work. 'great, Just Destroyed A Pineapple! Reminds Me, Shall We Send Those Grenades To The Syrian Rebels?'

Curiously, It Is Hard Not To Be A Little Optimistic About The Future For Zimbabwe (as Nobody At All Calls It Yet, Except In Political Speeches). The Fear Is Not That There Will Be Mass Slaughter Of The Whites, Followed By Their Flight To South Africa And The Collapse Of The Economy, But That The Need To Retain White Confidence May Mean That The Blacks Are Badly Disappointed.