People On The 14th Floor, You Know

I Don't Need A Receipt For A Doughnut. I'll Just Give You The Money, And You Give Me The Doughnut. End Of Transaction! We Don't Need To Bring Ink And Paper Into This! I Can't Imagine A Scenario Where I'd Have To Prove That I Bought A Doughnut. Some Skeptical Friend...'don't Even Act Like I Didn't Buy That Doughnut! I've Got The Documentation Right Here! Oh, Wait, It's Back Home, In The File. Under D...for Doughnut.'

I Saw A Seagull Hanging Out By A Lake, But I Said, "don't Worry, Dude. I Won't Say Anything."

I Love My Fed-ex Guy Cause He's A Drug Dealer And He Don't Even Know It...and He's Always On Time.

Every Time I Go And Shave, I Assume There's Someone Else On The Planet Shaving. So I Say, 'i'm Gonna Go Shave, Too.'

I Don't Have A Girlfriend. But I Do Know A Woman Who'd Be Mad At Me For Saying That.