Every Time I Go And Shave, I

I Had A Chicken Finger That Was So Big, It Was A Chicken Hand.

If You Had A Friend Who Was A Tightrope Walker, And You Were Walking Down A Sidewalk, And He Fell, That Would Be Completely Unacceptable.

I Have Some Speakers Up Here, Thank God, Because Last Night I Didn't Have Them And I Was Telling Jokes And I Had No Idea Which Joke I Was Telling. So I Told Jokes Twice. I Even Told That One Twice.

I Went To A Restaurant, And I Saw A Guy Wearing A Leather Jacket, Eating A Hamburger, Drinking A Glass Of Milk. I Said, "dude, You Are A Cow. The Metamorphosis Is Complete. Don't Fall Asleep Or I Will Tip You Over!"

I Was Booked Into The Riviera Hotel In Las Vegas With Three Other Comedians. We All Were Using The Riviera In-house Shampoo, So We All Had Equal Shine And Bounce.