One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor.

What Wine Goes With Captain Crunch?

Think Of How Stupid The Average Person Is, And Realize Half Of Them Are Stupider Than That.

When People Say “clean As A Whistle”, They Forget That A Whistle Is Full Of Spit.

I Like My Jokes To Be Built On A Foundation Of Ideas, Or At Least Smart Observations.

When You Start In The Childhood Period, When You Begin To Form A Comic Sense, It Was The Radio Comedians - From The Last Days Of Radio And The First Days Of Television. And Spike Jones. And The Marx Brothers. They Represented Anarchy. They Took Things That Were Nice And Decent And Proper, And They Tore Them To Shreds. That Attracted Me.