One Day They Might Even Say That

They Say Paul Gascoigne Is The New George Best But Has He Shagged Three Miss Worlds?

Football Is A Sad Game.

People Say You Have To Hit Rock Bottom, And, I Can Tell You, Almost Dying Is As Rock Bottom As It Gets.

I Must Be The Only Person In The World Who's Looking Forward To Going Into Hospital. I Can't Wait To Get It Over And Done With.

Robert Redford Used To Be Such A Handsome Man And Now Look At Him: Everything Has Dropped, Expanded And Turned A Funny Color.