People Say You Have To Hit Rock

Me And A Mate Picked Up Two Darling Birds And They Took Us Back To Their Flat. I Went Into The Bedroom With My Bird And She Started Getting Undressed. I Was That Drunk I Was Standing There Wondering How To Get Undressed Without Letting Go Of The Award. I Went To Sit On The Bed, Missed It By Four Feet And Ended Up Lying On The Floor. I Remember The Bird Looking Down At Me, And Saying, ‘some Player Of The Year.’ Then I Fell Asleep. I Woke Up Still Clutching My Award And Staggered Out Of The Flat. I Hadn’t A Bloody Clue Where I Was.

People Say I Slept With Seven Miss Worlds, I Didn't. It Was Only Four, I Didn't Turn Up For The Other Three

Love Is About Mutual Respect, Apart From Attraction.

Football Is A Sad Game.

Pele Called Me The Greatest Footballer In The World. That Is The Ultimate Salute To My Life.