Not Only Is Love Blind, It’s A

Any Cupcake Consumed Before 9am Is, Technically, A Muffin.

When A Kid Says "smell My Hand," It Almost Never Smells Like Cinnamon.

There’s No Such Thing As Free Kittens.

Whatever Story You're Telling, It Will Be More Interesting If, At The End You Add, "and Then Everything Burst Into Flames.

If I Have A Talent For Making Some Fourth-grader Who Hates School And Reading To Hate It A Little Less, Then I Have To Do The Most With What I've Been Issued.