There’s No Such Thing As Free Kittens.

You Want A Story? Read 'gone With The Wind'. These Aren't Stories. They're Joke Books. The Whole Thing Of A Beginning, A Middle And An End Has Been Done To Death.

A Good Friend Will Help You Plant Your Tulips. A Great Friend Will Help You Plant A Gun On The Unarmed Intruder You Just Shot.

In Writing I Found Something I Could Do At Least As Well As My Peers, If Not Better.

Kids Enjoy Laughing And Are Seldom Bored When They Find Something Funny. They Also Ask Questions, Often To Adults, Because They Understand That The More Words They Can Comprehend About A Funny Story Or A Joke, The More They'll Enjoy It.

It's Perfectly Okay If You Don't Understand Every Single One Of Them. For One Thing, I Make A Lot Of Corny Jokes, And You Have To Be 40 Years Old To Get Some Of Them.