Nobody Really Wants To Be A Stand-up,

We Were So Poor My Daddy Unplugged The Clocks When We Went To Bed.

No Matter What Happens Or How Difficult Things Become, You Will Eventually Feel Better.

Does Having A Wife And Kids Change Your Act? Yes, But Only In The Best Way. It Gives You Weight And Authority. It Also Makes You Closer To The Audience Because The Audience Is Married And Has Kids.

Stop The Violence! Can't We All Just Get Along?

My Goals Were Small. My Goal Was To Become A Big Enough Stand-up That I Wouldn't Have To Do Radio. I Could Sell Out A Club, Which Is Like 300 Seats. If I Got Big Enough, I Could Sell Before I Got There, And I Wouldn't Have To Get Up At 6 In The Morning To Do Radio. That Was Pretty Much The Dream. I Had No Idea I'd Be Playing Madison Square Garden Or Anything.