Nobody Really Wants To Be A Stand-up,

They Don't Want You To Vote. If They Did, We Wouldn't Vote On A Tuesday. In November. You Ever Throw A Party On A Tuesday? No. Because Nobody Would Come.

Black People Dominate Sports In The United States. 20% Of The Population And 90% Of The Final Four.

Men Lie The Most, Women Tell The Biggest Lies.

Learn How To Cook. Read Books That Will Educate You. Get An Education. Get A Career. And Support Yourself. And Live In A Section Of Town That Isn't Conducive To Violence.

Only Black People In The Whole Neighborhood, So Let's Break It Down: Me, I'm A Decent Comedian, I'm A'ight. Mary J. Blige, One Of The Greatest R&b Singers To Ever Walk The Earth. Jay-z, One Of The Greatest Rappers To Ever Live. Eddie Murphy, One Of The Funniest Actors To Ever, Ever Do It. Do You Know What The White Man That Lives Next Door To Me Does For A Living? He's A F*****g Dentist.