I Do What I Can Do When

Who's Judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul Judging A Singing Contest Is Like Christopher Reeve Judging A Dance Contest!

So, To Say Obama Is Progress Is Saying That He’s The First Black Person That Is Qualified To Be President. That’s Not Black Progress. That’s White Progress. There’s Been Black People Qualified To Be President For Hundreds Of Years. The Question Is, You Know, My Kids Are Smart, Educated, Beautiful, Polite Children. There Have Been Smart, Educated, Beautiful, Polite Black Children For Hundreds Of Years. The Advantage That My Children Have Is That My Children Are Encountering The Nicest White People That America Has Ever Produced. Let’s Hope America Keeps Producing Nicer White People.

Anything You Can Suck At Should Make You Nervous.

My Mother Is The Kind Of Woman You Don't Want To Be In Line Behind At The Supermarket. She Has Coupons For Coupons.

Unlike Flying Or Astral Projection, Walking Through Walls Is An Earthbound Pursuit.