Carol Leifer Is Funny, Really Funny.

A Lot Of Racism Going On In The World Right Now. Who's More Racist? Black People Or White People? Black People. You Know Why? 'cuz We Hate Black People Too! Everything White People Don't Like About Black People, Black People Really Don't Like About Black People.

I See Guys Who Can't Make 10 Percent Of What I Make, And Yet They Have Four Bentleys, Three Houses, And Four Bodyguards.

It Used To Take Years To Become A Junkie. But Crack Cut That Down To 37 Minutes.

People Say, 'why Is He Bored With Her?' Because He's A Human Being, That's Why; Same Way His Wife Is Bored With Him. That Is Marriage - Anything That's Supposed To Be Forever, Your Going To Get Bored With It. And There Is Nothing Wrong With It, So Don't Take It Personal; If You Are With Somebody For Ten Years And They Are Not Bored With You? Then Something Is Wrong With Them.

Kids Raised On A Culture Of “we’re Not Going To Keep Score In The Game Because We Don’t Want Anybody To Lose.” Or Just Ignoring Race To A Fault. You Can’t Say “the Black Kid Over There.” No, It’s “the Guy With The Red Shoes.” You Can’t Even Be Offensive On Your Way To Being Inoffensive.