No One Is Completely Unhappy At The

Women Should Be Obscene, Not Heard.

I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It.

I Would Never Join A Country Club With Standards So Low As To Allow Me As A Member.

To Write An Autobiography Of Groucho Marx Would Be As Asinine As To Read An Autobiography Of Groucho Marx.

A Cigar Makers Organization Once Said That I Was The Most Famous Cigar Smoker In The World. I Dont Know If Thats True, But Once While Visiting Havana, I Went To A Cigar Factory. There Were Four Hundred People There Rolling Cigars, And When They Saw Me, They All Stood Up And Applauded.