Nice To Be Here? At My Age

I'm At The Age Now Where Just Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

When I Wasn't Working, I Put The Blame Directly Where It Belonged - I Blamed My Agent. When I Didn't Have An Agent, I Spent Time Looking For A New Agent So I Would Have Somebody To Blame.

Yale Men Do Not Like To Be Told Anything By People Who Didn't Go To Yale. The Closest I Came To Yale Was Once I Had One Of Their Padlocks.

You Can't Help Getting Older, But You Don't Have To Get Old.

Someone Who Makes You Laugh Is A Comedian. Someone Who Makes You Think And Then Laugh Is A Humorist.