New Rule: Tulips Aren't Flowers. They're Some

Newt Gingrich...is Absolutely For Bombing Iran And For Lowering Gas Prices. And I've Just To Say, You Can't Be For Both. They Are Diametrically Opposed.

The Answer Isn't Another Pill. The Answer Is Spinach.

Selling Pot Allowed Me To Get Through College And Make Enough Money To Start Off In Comedy.

Trying To Get Today's Republicans To Accept Basic Facts Is Like Trying To Get Your Dog To Take A Pill. You Have To Feed Them The Truth Wrapped In A Piece Of Baloney, Hold Their Snouts Shut And Stroke Their Throats. And Even Then, Just When You Think They've Swallowed It, They Spit It Out On The Linoleum.

Mitt Romney, Who Is On Record Saying That He Would Not Waste Money Going After Bin Laden, And On Record Saying He Would Not Violate Pakistan's Border To Get Bin Laden, This Week Said, 'of Course I Would Have Gotten Bin Laden.' Even His Etch-a-sketch Went, Seriously?