New Rule: Tulips Aren't Flowers. They're Some

The Bible Looks Like It Started Out As A Game Of Mad Libs.

I Think There Is A Problem, Though, With The Media Gushing Over [obama] Too Much. I Don't Think He Thinks That He's All That, But The Media Does. I Mean, The Coverage After, That I Was Watching, From Msnbc, I Mean These Guys Were Ready To Have Sex With Him.it's Embarrassing.

Down In Texas, Rick Perry Announced He Will Not Run For Reelection. He Said 'i Executed One Last Woman, That Fertilizer Plant Exploded, I Returned Abortions To Back Alleys Where It Belongs, My Work Here Is Done.' I Think That's What He Said, He Was Chewing A Crayon.

A Flu Shot Is The Worst Thing You Can Do.

Face The Fact That There's Only One Sure-fire Way To Erase Credit Card Debt. By Picking Up A Big, Shiny Pair Of Scissors And Cutting Your Wife In Half.