It Would Be Kind Of A Tragedy

John Kerry Made A Joke About Bush Being A Moron, And Now Bush Wants Morons To Think It Was A Joke Was About The Troops. ... Now, John Kerry Has Apologized. He Said He Made A Botched Joke And Admitted That He Has A Joking Problem. He Has Checked Into An Improv Group And Revealed That As A Child, He Was Molested By A Clown.

I Couldn't Run For Any Office. I Think That Religion Is Bad, Weed Is Good, And Babies Are Disgusting; Who Would Vote For Me?

One Of The Reasons I Still Do Stand-up Is Because It Was So Hard In The Beginning That I Feel Like It Would Be Such A Shame Not To Redeem It That It's All Fun.

Failing To Warn The Citizens Of A Looming Weapon Of Mass Destruction- And That's What Global Warming Is- In Order To Protect Oil Company Profits, Well, That Fits For Me The Definition Of Treason.

President Bush Is Supporting Arnold But A Lot Of Republicans Are Not, Because He Is Actually Quite Liberal. Karl Rove Said If His Father Wasn't A Nazi, He Wouldn't Have Any Credibility With Conservatives At All.