Never Put A Sock In A Toaster.

Cats Have A Scam Going - You Buy The Food, They Eat The Food, They Go Away; That's The Deal.

I Saw Something In A Program On Something In Miami, And They Were Saying, "we've Redecorated This Building To How It Looked Over 50 Years Ago!" And People Were Going, "no, Surely Not, No. No One Was Alive Then."

Racist People, Interestingly, Are Never As Polite As Smokers. Have You Noticed That? Smokers Always Go, "do You Mind If I Smoke? Oh, You Do? Okay, I'll Go Outside And Have A Cigarette."

When I Watched Braveheart I Was In Tears And I Was Rooting For The Scottish People

Animals In The Wild Are Lean, And I Think We Should Be Too.