Never Go To Bed Angry, Stay Up

This Woman Goes Into A Gun Shop And Says, 'i Want To Buy A Gun For My Husband.' The Clerk Says, 'did He Tell You What Kind Of Gun?' 'no,' She Replied. 'he Doesn't Even Know I'm Going To Shoot Him.

My Husband Is So Cheap. On Christmas Eve, He Fires One Shot And Tells The Kids Santa Committed Suicide.

In Most States You Can Get A Driver's License When You're Sixteen Years Old, Which Made A Lot Of Sense To Me When I Was Sixteen Years Old But Now Seems Insane.

Have The Man At The Station Put The Air In The Tires. I Did It Once Myself. Have You Ever Seen A Car With A Limp?

I Don't Know How You Feel About Old Age... But In My Case I Didn't Even See It Coming. It Hit Me From The Rear.