Never Cry Over Spilt Milk, Because It

I'm Free Of All Prejudices. I Hate Everyone Equally.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There's No Point In Being A Damn Fool About It.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.