My Wife Met Me At The Door

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.

I Get No Respect. The Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest.

People Ask If I Can Get It Up In The Morning. I Tell Them Are You Kidding I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

I Tell Ya, I Was An Ugly Kid. I Was So Ugly That My Dad Kept The Kid's Picture That Came With The Wallet He Bought.

I Told My Doctor I Think My Wife Has Vd. He Gave Himself A Shot Of Penicillin.