I'm Sitting On Top Of The World,

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, I Took Her To The Top Of The Empire State Building And Planes Started To Attack Her.