I'm Sitting On Top Of The World,

A Sense Of Humor Is Rare. It Isn't Telling A Joke About How There Are Three Ways To Get To Heaven. It's Being In A Restaurant And Hearing Someone Say, Everyone's Got Their Tale Of Woe, And Then Turning Around And Saying, Unfortunately, In Life, There's More Woe Than Tail.

I Bought A New Book, '100 New Ways To Make Love'. I Ended Up In Traction - It Was A Misprint.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.