Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage.

Actually, I Comb My Hair Quite Often. Of Course, I Use An Electric Toothbrush.

Your Husband Drinks Too Much If He Says He Never Drinks Alone, But Considers The Goldfish Somebody.

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

Self-pity Is Better Than None.

My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She Has A Striped Dress With Only One Stripe.