Hey Everybody, We're All Gonna Get Laid!

I Know I'm Not Sexy. In High School I Was Voted Most Likely To Masturbate.

Don't Talk About Yourself So Much...we'll Do That When You Leave.

During Sex, My Girlfriend Always Wants To Talk To Me… Just The Other Night She Called Me From A Hotel.

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

Last Week I Told My Wife, If You Would Learn To Cook, I Could Fire The Chef. She Said, If You Could Learn To Make Love, I Could Fire The Chauffer.