My Mother Told Me 'man On Top,

My Personal Style Is Over-the-top Dowager. The Old Days They Said Get Dressed And Take One Thing Off, I Say Get Dressed And Put One Thing On.

Now, I'm Not Against Sex Before Marriage, But Two Minutes Before? When The Organist Played "here Comes The Bride".

I Said Justin Bieber Looked Like A Little Lesbian -- And I Stand By It: He's The Daughter Cher Wishes She'd Had.

I Finally Found Out How Priests Get Holy Water. They Boil The Hell Out Of It.

My Best Birth Control Now Is Just To Leave The Lights On.