My Mother Loved Children - She Would

Either He's Dead Or My Watch Has Stopped.

The Husband Who Wants A Happy Marriage Should Learn To Keep His Mouth Shut And His Checkbook Open.

I Don’t Have A Photograph, But You Can Have My Footprints. They’re Upstairs In My Socks.

Given The Choice Between A Woman And A Cigar, I Will Always Choose The Cigar.

I Never Go To Movies Where The Hero's Tits Are Bigger Than The Heroine's.