My Mind Works . . . Two

If I Raised My Hand To Wipe The Hair Out Of My Children's Eyes, They'd Flinch And Call Their Attorney.

On Vacations: We Hit The Sunny Beaches Where We Occupy Ourselves Keeping The Sun Off Our Skin, The Saltwater Off Our Bodies, And The Sand Out Of Our Belongings.

Let Me Put It This Way. According To My Girth, I Should Be A Ninety-foot Redwood.

The Only Reason I Would Take Up Jogging Is So That I Could Hear Heavy Breathing Again.

When The History Of Guilt Is Written, Parents Who Refuse Their Children Money Will Be Right Up There In The Top Ten.