My Heart Is A Bargain Today. Will

Bert Williams Was The Funniest Man I Ever Saw And The Saddest Man I Ever Knew.

I Don't Believe In Dining On An Empty Stomach.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There's No Point In Being A Damn Fool About It.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

When You Wake Up In The Morning, Smile - And Get It Over With.