I Like Children - Fried.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

Take Me Down To The Bar! We'll Drink Breakfast Together!

I Am An Expert Of Electricity. My Father Occupied The Chair Of Applied Electricity At The State Prison.

Prayers Never Bring Anything... They May Bring Solace To The Sap, The Bigot, The Ignorant, The Aboriginal, And The Lazy - But To The Enlightened It Is The Same As Asking Santa Claus To Bring You Something For Xmas

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.