My Folks Were English . . .

I Would Not Have Had Anything To Eat If It Wasn't For The Stuff The Audience Threw At Me.

Sure Vietnam Is A Dirty War. I've Never Heard Of A Clean One.

My Next Door Neighbor Just Had A Pacemaker Installed. They're Still Working The Bugs Out, Though. Every Time He Makes Love, My Garage Door Opens.

I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing And Said, 'what Do I Do Next?' Pat Replied, 'wait Till The Pain Dies Down.'

I Have The Perfect Simplified Tax Form For Government. Why Don't They Just Print Our Money With A Return Address On It?