My Father Never Raised His Hand To

All That The Comedian Has To Show For His Years Of Work And Aggravation Is The Echo Of Forgotten Laughter.

Television Is The Triumph Of Machine Over People.

A Comedian Who Starts Talking To Himself Becomes His Own Audience. This Is Fatal.

Television Is A Device That Permits People Who Haven't Anything To Do To Watch People Who Can't Do Anything.

Most Of Us Spend The First Six Days Of Each Week Sowing Wild Oats; Then We Go To Church On Sunday And Pray For A Crop Failure.