My Father Never Raised His Hand To

All I Know About Humor Is That I Don't Know Anything About It.

Radio Is Called A Medium Because It Is Rare That Anything Is Well Done.

I Was Just Working In The Shop And All Of A Sudden Something Just Triggered In Me, And I Started Shaking. And Then I Walked Back Into The House And My Wife Asked, 'what's The Matter?' And I Said, 'i Don't Feel Good.' And Tears, Uncontrollable Tears, Was Coming Out Of My Eyes And She Says, 'what's The Matter?' And I Told Her. I Said, 'i Just Thought About That Execution That I Did Two Days Ago, And Everybody Else's That I Was Involved In.' And What It Was, Something Triggered Within, And It Just, Everybody - All Of These Executions All Sprung Forward.

A Psychiatrists Is The Next Man You Start Talking To After You Start Talking To Yourself.

I'm A Little Hoarse Tonight. I've Been Living In Chicago For The Past Two Months, And You Know How It Is, Yelling For Help On The Way Home Every Night. Things Are So Tough In Chicago That At Easter Time, For Bunnies The Little Kids Use Porcupines.