A Gentleman Is Any Man Who Wouldn't

A Comedian Who Starts Talking To Himself Becomes His Own Audience. This Is Fatal.

With The Advance Of Refrigeration, I Hope That Along With The Frozen Foods Someday We Will Have Frozen Conversation. A Person Will Be Able To Keep A Frozen Promise Indefinitely.

Most Of Us Spend The First Six Days Of Each Week Sowing Wild Oats; Then We Go To Church On Sunday And Pray For A Crop Failure.

To A Newspaperman, A Human Being Is An Item With Skin Wrapped Around It.

I Can't Understand Why A Person Will Take A Year To Write A Novel When He Can Easily Buy One For A Few Dollars.