My Father Carries Around The Picture Of

When I Was 3 Years Old, My Parents Got A Dog. I Was Jealous Of The Dog, So They Got Rid Of Me.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.

When I Was A Kid My Parents Moved A Lot, But I Always Found Them.

My Wife Is So Fat That The Last Time I Saw Something That Big It Was Grazing.

One Time I Went To A Hotel. I Asked The Bellhop To Handle My Bag. He Felt Up My Wife!