My Dog Watches Me On Tv. So,

I Sold My House This Week. I Got A Pretty Good Price For It, But It Made My Landlord Mad As Hell

I Don't Know Why Men Are So Fascinated With Television And I Think It Has Something To Do With - If I May Judge From My Own Father, Who Used To Sit And Stare At The Tv While My Mother Was Speaking To Him - I Think That's A Man's Way Of Tuning Out.

They Should Put Expiration Dates On Clothing So We Men Will Know When They Go Out Of Style.

I Play Basketball On Sundays And I'm A Very Spiritual Guy; I Read A Lot Of Eastern Philosophy And I Meditate.

Nice Guys Finish First. If You Don't Know That, Then You Don't Know Where The Finish Line Is.