I'm Dating A Homeless Woman. It Was

I Remember Learning To Drive On My Dad's Lap. Did You Guys Ever Do That? He'd Work The Brakes. I'd Work The Wheel. Then I Went To Take The Driver's Test And Sat On The Examiner's Lap. I Failed The Exam. But He Still Writes To Me. That's The Really Nice Part.

I Don't Know Why Men Are So Fascinated With Television And I Think It Has Something To Do With - If I May Judge From My Own Father, Who Used To Sit And Stare At The Tv While My Mother Was Speaking To Him - I Think That's A Man's Way Of Tuning Out.

I Met A New Girl At A Barbecue, Very Pretty, A Blond I Think. I Don't Know, Her Hair Was On Fire, And All She Talked About Was Herself. You Know These Kind Of Girls: 'i'm Hot. I'm On Fire. Me, Me, Me.' You Know. 'help Me, Put Me Out.' Come On, Could We Talk About Me Just A Little Bit?

Yes, I'm A Nice Man And I Enjoy Babies. I'm A Sensitive Guy. I Held A Baby The Other Day And It Was The First Time Either Of Us Cried.

I Play Basketball On Sundays And I'm A Very Spiritual Guy; I Read A Lot Of Eastern Philosophy And I Meditate.