My Dog Learned How To Beg By

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

A Hooker Once Told Me She Had A Headache.

When I Was Born ... The Doctor Came Out To The Waiting Room And Said To My Father ... I'm Very Sorry. We Did Everything We Could ... But He Pulled Through.

I Asked My Old Man If I Could Go Ice-skating On The Lake. He Told Me, "wait Til It Gets Warmer."

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I Don't Believe Meatloaf Should Glow In The Dark